Don’t judge her for being the darkness you don’t want to feel
I know she gets wild.
Sometimes that streak of strength you love in her turns rancid and her truth mixed with resentment fueled rage, burns.
I know you love her for her sweetness.
And lately, or maybe now its decades, that soft honey she used to shower on you has dried up. I know you’re wishing it was here like it used to be. I know you accept she’s giving it to your kids. I also know you crave it.
Like you craved lollies when you were a little boy. But you’re not now, are you?
Now you are a man in a relationship with a woman who isn’t happy. Or let me clarify, a woman who is not happy with you, her partner. Let me help you.
I know she can be difficult, changeable, mean and sometimes vicious. I know she can strip you naked with her tongue and slay you with the venom she speaks.
But do not judge her for the darkness you see in her for making you face the feelings and truth you refuse to face.
For the emptiness or abandonment, you refuse to own.
For the shadows and darkness, you refuse to feel.
She is showing up wild, angry and full of passion – she is is yelling at you for one, yes ONE undeniable reason –
She is fighting for the man in you. She is arguing for the ‘us’ in the relationship she is still committed to.
Yes. Her behaviour isn’t so graceful.
Yes. She’s missing skills and tools just like you.
But she’s there, mad as hell, cross as a banshee because the boundary you crossed and the love you took for granted. The kindness you drank and discarded. The time and thought she lavished that went unseen.
And all this giving cost her. It cost her sweetness. It made her feel unsafe and more tired and she needs you like she needs no other and you haven’t been there.
Don’t judge her for making you see the darkness you refuse to own. The unpenetrated heart that holds trauma you refuse to feel.
Instead, Love her for being your mirror. And own the feminine, the unexplored tenderness inside you and Do Your Work. Joy is waiting for you all if you do.
If you want to learn how to hold your deep inner-centred masculinity while your beloved turns into her own fury storm, then join Guardians.
Become the present love that changes everything.
© Lhamo 2022